Taking stock . . who and what lifts you up?
The other day I was catching up with a girlfriend. And I don’t even know if catching up is what to call it, we talk at least once a day! We’ve known each other for years, and our conversations cover everything. Work challenges, politics, music, books, travelling . . anything and everything. The other day she said she’d been thinking about what makes a good friendship. She’s been noticing how easy it is to stay in certain friendships simply because they’ve been around forever, or even because it feels awkward to let them fade. But, as she’s been thinking about, longevity doesn’t necessarily equal quality.
Do we stay because it’s easier?
Since then I’ve been thinking about how often we actually pause and check in with ourselves about the relationships we’re investing in.
And I don’t just mean friendships, I mean all of it. Relationships, jobs, hobbies, commitments, the places you spend your time.
We rarely ask:
Does this make me feel valued?
Do I feel heard? Seen? Supported?
Do I leave this interaction lighter, or heavier?
Am I growing here, or am I shrinking?
It’s so easy to get caught in the history or the habit of something. We forget to notice how it makes us feel in the present. We keep sticking with it, but we stop checking in.
Here’s the part that really matters:
If your answers to those questions leave you feeling uncomfortable, it might be time to change something.
That doesn’t always mean walking away overnight. Sometimes it’s about small shifts. This could be setting a boundary, asking for what you need, or giving more energy to the people who fill your energy reserves. Other times it’s bigger and it could be choosing to step back, to let something fade, or to move in a new direction entirely.
Change can feel overwhelming, but that little nudge you feel after honest reflection is worth listening to. The people and places you surround yourself with shape your days. They should help you feel more like yourself, not less.
So this week, take a moment to ask yourself:
Which friendships make you feel truly seen?
Which relationships or commitments leave you feeling heavier than when you arrived?
Where could you ask for what you need, or give yourself permission to step back?
And if those questions bring up a realisation that it’s time to make a change, big or small, you don’t have to figure it out alone. This is the kind of work I absolutely love supporting people with. If you’re ready to take that next step, reach out to me. Let’s explore it together.
